26Nov07 - Time

It was about 22:00 today before it struck me that there has been no time at all today. How many days pass that merely consist of moving from one task to another? Whole weeks can go by like this and at the end of it you look back and realise that you can't remember having any time at all. Today started at 6:00am getting Joshua and Lucy ready for school. Well actually getting Lucy ready for school because Joshua pretty much takes care of himself these days. About 5 minutes before it was time to leave I realised that I had not shaved, brushed my hair or teeth, I had no time. I arrived home after the school run at about 9:30 already late to start work (luckily I was working from home today). The next time I looked at my watch it was time to think about picking them up again. 18:30 back at home, medicine, bath, supper and then exercises. Again Joshua took care of himself. I had to get him to do some maths homework while I gave Lucy her supper. I finished feeding her at about 19:30 and gave her 20mins before starting her exercises. My parents arrived as they are looking after things tomorrow as I have to go to London to work and my mother offered to cook which was nice. While she did I started the exercises and finished them after we had eaten. I didn't quite manage the whole program and finished at 21:00 so I could put Lucy to bed. Joshua made his own way to bed and was waiting to have his light turned off. There were a few minor arrangements to sort out for tomorrow like the car seat and pram etc which were still left to do before having a sit down and a cup of coffee to end the day. Now it is late but I feel like I need some time to just sit and unwind although probably I should be in bed recharging for tomorrow.

I can remember a time when I used to enjoy just sitting doing nothing and thinking but this just seems like a waste of time now. Only when it is late and quiet do I allow myself this luxury. It is so easy to get consumed by the constant race from one duty/job/chore/obligation to the next that you forget why you are doing it and when this happens you find yourself questioning what you are doing. Life becomes a bit like a job and I don't care what anybody says, jobs can be enjoyable but they are not about having fun. We work so that when we are not working we can have fun. The problem is is that when work takes all your time you are too exhausted to be bothered with fun. I am probably the worst culprit for taking life a bit too seriously and not making enough time to have fun. I guess that makes me a bit grumpy sometimes and leads to rambles like this. Listen to me moaning, I have only been left alone for a few days, Dawn has been doing this for 3 1/2 years!