Monday, 15 October 2007

15Oct07 - What others think

Today began well after a really good weekend. Yesterday we took Lucy to see her Granny and Grandad, my Aunty Mary and Cousin Rachel for Sunday lunch. As always we had a nice relaxing time and were fed very well. Lucy laid happily watching the MotoGP on TV while we had our lunch. Lucy always enjoys cuddles with Mary, Rachel and Emma (who couldn't be there).
It was interesting to hear them talk about the "Them & They" blog that I recently wrote. They were as offended as we were by the comments that have been made and it reinforced the thoughts I have that society, particularly the older generation, seem not to be educated to deal with disabled people. It is obvious to me that some people have no idea what to say or how the things they say actually sound. They don't see disabled people as equals and think it is good to be sympathetic and sometimes even apologetic. Don't they know that sympathy is the last thing we need? Disabled people are real live people with their own thoughts, emotions, characters and skills but unfortunately because they are different they are categorised and stereotyped before they have the chance to express themselves. Lucy is just a little girl and she only knows the life she has been given. She won't go through life feeling sorry for herself. Yes she may want to change things about herself just like anybody does. I know for a time in my teens I didn't like my first name, I wished I could make my ears smaller and occasionally wanted to be have been born into the royal family. I don't know what Lucy may not like about herself but whatever it is it will be normal for her as she grows up. The number of times we have heard the comments, "Oh you do keep her nice" or "She is always so well dressed" as if this is the only thing they can find to say about her. It comes accross as if they think it is unusual for a child like Lucy to be cared for like that, as if it would be ok if we dressed her in rags because she is one of them. I don't mean to offend anyone who has said that and meant it in the right way, it is obvious when it is said out of context.

I was talking to one of our friends today who was still angry after reading the comments made to Dawn three days ago. She could write a book about all the times it has happened to her. We all deal with it in different ways. Dawn is able to rise above it but our friend is just like me and it really gets to her. I know she reacts to it more than I do and it was really funny for me listening to the stories of the times she has confronted people. It made me feel like I am not being rude or obnoxious by wanting to protect Lucy from the ignorance that surrounds her. It is not her fault she has cerebral palsy and it is not her fault that people can't see past her disabilities. If she is not able to stick up for herself then I don't see anything wrong doing it for her. One thing Lucy has given us is lots of laughs when we get together with our friends in the club and share our stories, it is hysterical although I guess to anybody on the outside it would sound pretty offensive. It is better to laugh about it, confront it and do what we feel is right because the alternative is to avoid public places and stay at home.


Anonymous said...

Hi It was nice to see you both on "Skpe" this evening it seems ages since we last saw you. Lucy looked lovely on her of road venture. Give our love to her and Josh and that we miss the very much. Still Gran will see "THEM" both on Friday. lol.
Lots of Love Grandma & Granddad . xxxxx

Dawn said...

Missing you loads too. Thank you for the comment. Can't wait to see you. Will be checking out flight prices cos sunny Portugal is feeling very appealing! Love Dawn xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Was good to see you on Sunday - (glad Josh had a good time away ) We look forward to seeing you again in November ...keep well till then !
We are back down south now having left the shops in Meadowhall empty!
Love Aunty Mary & Rachel xx

Anonymous said...

Lovely pic of Rachel and Lucy doing some cousinly bonding. Wish I could have been there too - Auntie Ann