Tuesday, 16 October 2007

16Oct07 - Away with the fairies

I tried to get some pictures at school today but Lucy was not in the mood when we dropped her off. She had cheered up by the time she got home and we had a quick play at dressing up. This could be a career option for Lucy!!
Later this afternoon Dawn took her to pick up Joshua from school and struck it lucky with the cuddles again while they waited for him to finish.
After work to day I was browsing the "Contact a Family" (www.cafamily.org.uk) website because they have a very good area specifically for Dads. I stumbled upon a video that had been made by a father about his family and their disabled daughter. The film is narrated by his wife and is excellently done. The thing that struck me most was that it could have been Dawn talking because the feelings and experiences they express are so similar to ours except their daughter was nine at the time the film was made. We are always trying to see into the future and find out what we can expect from life. We try to convince ourselves that it will become easier somehow but really deep down we know what the truth is likely to bring. Their daughter was nine, six years older than Lucy and they are still affected in the same way we are now. It was moving to hear this mother speaking the truth and telling it just the way it is. I didn't draw much comfort from the video except that I know that the way I feel is normal and I shouldn't expect it to be different. The same thoughts that the father had are constant for me. I am not embarrassed to admit that I was brought to tears watching and it will be the same if I watch it again. If you want an insight into what life is like for families like us, watch this video. Click here to watch "Away with the fairies" from www.cafamily.org.uk

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

It brought tears to my eyes too Neil ..I feel that I am having an education since you have started this blog -it is really giving me an insight to how careless / thoughtless words can wound and how really until you see how life is from the inside with a disabled child you really cannot imagine the heartache and the daily slog . I am guilty of ignorance myself and really hope that I have never made a throw away remark in the past that has offended anyone ! Anyway you are both an inspiration to me and I only wish we were nearer and I could support you more Aunty Mary x

Anonymous said...

Looks like Lucy is going to join uncle Robert, I hope she likes flying in a helicopter, lol. We looked at the Vid you mentioned "There for the grace of god go I " came to mind. Love from Mum & Dad Haigh XXXXXX

Anonymous said...

Yes the video had me in tears too. Hard to hear said the sort of things we think at times. Lucy has though brought a whole new dimension into our lives. We love the 4 of you so much. Mom & Dad xxxx

Anonymous said...

Hey, i thought the video really struck on the little things which make such a huge impact on your life, there are the obvious things such as the equipment, the reactions from people but it seems and sorry if im wrong and being one of 'them' but it is the little things (like not being able to go and pick the beans with grandma) that make your families journies so different> My friends brother has a disability and watching her grow up with such a different family environment to my own and listening to her experiences and perceptions of the world taught me and continues to teach me so much, as Lucy and Joshua as well as you both do. I feel its so important to acknowledge differences in those little things to understand the world and people that much better so that we don't as mum said wound people with our words and thoughtless comments but appreciate what each individual and each difference can teach us and also how we can enrich their lives. Sorry to ramble, not a very good first comment!! But something i do feel strongly about even if i cant eloquently put it into words. I love you all very much and like mum wish i was nearer so i could support you better in your daily journies. Lots of love cousin emma xXx

Anonymous said...

Emma, I wish I could put into words so eloquently as you did. It was lovely reading your first comment. Thank you and best wishes from Mum & Dad Haigh x

hayley said...

i have just watched the the story of the family the the 9yr old girl.i cant stop crying!things that the mum said also i have said.it is lovely to no that there are so many of us feeling the same!

Auntie Margo said...

Lucy looks so cute as a police girl!! I watched the video, most of it through a blur of tears. It certainly makes you stop and think. I have often wondered where Lucy goes when I say she has gone to Lucy Land. I really wish I could visit there and see the world through her eyes!! Love to you all xxx