21Sep07 - Work & Play

After spending so much time in Hospital at the beginning of the week it was strange go to work in London on Thursday. It felt odd not talking about Lucy, blood tests, IV's etc and instead talking about software, vertical integration, strategic partnerships etc. A couple of people asked how Lucy was and I just gave the stock reply, "She's fine thanks" which generally satisfies most people and stops any further uncomfortable questions especially if Lucy is not known to them. Most of the time the people asking the question would not want to hear the real answer, although it would be fun to pick on someone some time and really go into detail just to see the reaction. Maybe I am being unfair because there are plenty of people who are genuinely interested. It is also true that the majority of the time I don't want to discuss it.

Dawn took Lucy back to school on Friday morning but decided to stay with her just to keep an eye on her. She said she really enjoyed getting involved and once again she was made to feel really welcome. Lucy started off in the sensory corner and tactile play. She then went in the pea pod for a quick spin before snacktime. At playtime they had wet play because it was raining and so they got to watch a bit of TV. It was swimming day but Lucy had her turn last week so instead she had one-to-one time which is really nice for her and she did some finger painting. They finished the morning with sensory storytime. Lucy and Laila had foot spas sitting side by side in little arm chairs while they listened to a story. Dawn said it was nice to see exactly what goes on and be part of it. The school staff really help with this and are glad to have you there. However being "part of it" is kind of a double edged sword as although you want to feel and be "part of it" there are still times when it feels so alien that you just want to run away from it. No matter how hard you try or how happy and positive you feel, it is still difficult to accept this very different normality. These feelings seldom come to the surface but when they do you feel guilty and hypocritical because then you might as well join the starers. You realise where you've come from and that you still have such a long way to go.

My parents came to babysit again so that Dawn and I could have some time together. We had a great time. We played squash which is a first for us although Dawn plays now and again. We really enjoyed it and if we can will try and do it more often. We didn't take it too serious and just had fun. Afterwards we had a quick supper, change and went to a couple of pubs for drinks ending up in our local for a lock in. We have not had such a laugh for ages. It was nice to park all the baggage for a few selfish hours and just be ourselves, perfect therapy.